As many of you know, I moved to Montana about six years ago, along with many others who relocated during COVID. This influx of newcomers has certainly changed the landscape of Montana, much to the chagrin of some longtime residents. However, once we made the decision to move here, the historian in me couldn't have been more excited! One of my favorite periods in American history is the Westward Movement. Living in a place that still celebrates rugged individualism and self-reliance is incredibly appealing.
I often think about the Westward Movement when educators discuss the importance of helping students develop "grit." If there is anywhere in America where one might expect to find people with grit, surely it is Montana! Yet, just like educators across the country, Montanans continue to wrestle with the question of how we teach young people to persevere and why that quality matters.
So, what exactly is grit? For the purposes of this letter, I would define it as the ability to get back up after being knocked down, persevere through adversity, stand firm for what is right, and resist the temptations of the world. Ultimately, grit is the ability to face challenges and emerge from them not defeated, exhausted, or discouraged, but stronger, more confident, and better equipped for whatever lies ahead.
But how do we teach this? How do our children develop these qualities? In a world filled with instant access to information and AI tools that can do much of the work for us, how do we cultivate that legendary Montana grit in the next generation?
I'm certainly no expert, but after listening to other educators and reflecting on my own experiences, I've come to believe the answer is simpler than we might expect. It begins with small things. We must allow our children to make mistakes, work through difficulties, and learn to remain steadfast when circumstances become uncomfortable. It starts with everyday habits: making the bed in the morning, looking someone in the eye during a conversation, greeting others with a friendly smile, and taking responsibility when something is forgotten at home, left on the playground, or misplaced at school.
For parents, however, this is often much harder than it sounds. It means watching our children miss an opportunity, receive a disappointing grade that doesn't reflect their potential, or perhaps go without lunch for a day because they forgot to bring it from home. These moments are difficult for us to witness, but our children are often much more capable of navigating them than we give them credit for.
Age-appropriate natural consequences play an important role in a child's development. We learn not only through instruction and positive reinforcement, but also through experiencing difficulty, accepting responsibility, and discovering the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. There is something uniquely rewarding about working hard to accomplish something and realizing that our efforts have paid off. That sense of achievement cannot easily be replicated when someone else steps in to do the difficult work for us. When we continually rescue our children from uncomfortable situations, we may unintentionally rob them of the opportunity to discover what they are capable of accomplishing on their own.
I know this lesson firsthand. My oldest daughter, Lily, is painfully shy and introverted. Helping her develop grit was one of the most difficult parenting lessons I have ever had to learn. Our world isn't always particularly kind to those who are shy or introverted. We tend to celebrate outgoing personalities and often place greater expectations on children who are comfortable speaking up and putting themselves out there.
Were there days when I stood in the school parking lot, on the verge of tears, knowing she was dreading the two-minute presentation she had to give that day? Absolutely! Yet my desire to protect her from that uncomfortable experience quickly faded when she came home excitedly telling me how well it had gone and sharing the joy she felt from having conquered something that once seemed so intimidating. Sometimes, our children end up teaching us a lesson or two!
This also makes me think about some of the remarkable biblical figures whose stories we know so well. I sometimes wonder what Daniel's parents thought as they watched him remain faithful to God, even when that faithfulness led him into a den of lions. What about David's parents as he stepped forward to face Goliath? And what did Jonah's family think when he told them about being swallowed by a great fish and then called to deliver God's message to the people of Nineveh, a city he desperately wanted to avoid?
These stories remind us that a life of faith is not necessarily a life free from difficulty. Scripture tells us that we will face trials and challenges, but it also reminds us that God uses these experiences to strengthen our faith, develop our character, and draw us closer to Him. As Christians, we can look forward with hope to the eternal joy of living in the presence of our Lord.
As parents and educators, let us remember that our responsibility extends beyond helping children succeed academically or protecting them from every disappointment. We are also helping shape the character they will carry into adulthood. Let us give them opportunities to persevere, take responsibility, demonstrate integrity, and stand firm in their convictions. Most importantly, let us encourage them to trust in God through both the triumphs and the trials.
After all, we aren't simply raising children who know how to succeed when things are easy. We are raising young people who, through faith, perseverance, and virtue, will know how to stand strong when life gets difficult.
Developing grit is an important part of that process. We want our students to become young men and women who demonstrate perseverance when circumstances are difficult, integrity when no one is watching, accountability when they make mistakes, and the courage to stand for what is right, even when doing so is unpopular. Most importantly, we want them to recognize that these qualities are not simply tools for personal success, but virtues that reflect the character of Christ.
